thoughtsonthebus

15 stops. 40 minutes. each day.

Energy

There’s something going on
I’m not thinking
I’m feeling.
All. The. Time.
Feelings of love, gratitude
etc are here
But it’s not emotions so much
as all-out, omg “I am going to rip your clothes off and have my way if you don’t do the same to me in the next 5 minutes” kind of feelings.
Insatiable doesn’t even cut it.
Girls: Celebrate your love
Guys: Don’t be afraid

Being single is such a double-edged sword.

.mmm.. sword 😉

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across

It could be the combination of a few things;

yes, it’s true – I am on holidays

but I don’t think that’s the true catalyst.

It could be the psych visits, but for all she’s done,

I’ve done most of it myself.

It could be the trip to Miami I was awarded by the company I work for

for being awesome. But that’s like icing on the cake.

So what is it? Where does this stream of energy

running across my back and into my heart come from?

And the answer to that, is the answer to this smile,

these tapping feet, my dancing soul.

I’m so fucking happy.

I’m realising some truths just come with age

how delicious to discover them like jewels along an overgrown path.

Nothing, and I’ve traversed the external world and the internal questions,

Nothing allows me to soar the heights of love like lost-in-the-world, eyes-shut, heart open dancing

surrounded by the most beautiful people

surrounded by mother nature

encompassed in this all-too-human body,

relishing the short time we are here.

I’m still tingling, still feeling the space in my brain

behind my eyes

across

to my ears, and down my neck

open and inviting

all the things.

I’m so fucking happy right now, I could share this love with a million and not be left lacking

x

Death stares

I’m getting constant death, lip-curling looks from this 30-something woman on the train. It’s quite hilarious because I’ve never seen her before, I have no idea what I’ve done, and I just know my current smug smile is making her even angrier at me.
Happy Friday!
Saw a cute guy reading New Scientist on the 376 this morning..we had a little chat, but then someone sat next to him. And I was going to give him my business card, so we could chat Quantum Physics another time, but I totally chickened out. Looks like I’m getting the bus all next week
xxx

what remains is what’s true.

“Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion, it is not the desire to mate every second minute of the day, it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every cranny of your body. No, don’t blush, I am telling you some truths. That is just being in love, which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.”

♥

Louis de Bernières

holding on

such a delicious morning

the sun is frying me already

and it’s all i can do

to not strip off and let it

hit my white bits.

Last day

2013.

a moments feeling of sadness

sadness for that which was lost this year

a love

a baby

an inspiring hero

an innocence

I once had

now growing up

day after day.

getting more me

less of false

more of real.

Lost in the past

i feel separate from my surroundings

a loner at my own party

the beautiful thing now,

is that I know.

knowledge is not power.

Acting on knowledge is power,

I love that my body aches for your touch,

a touch I am not expecting.

a touch now treasured

I see it locked away in a gorgeous hand-carved box,

tucked away on the top shelf in the back of the garage.

What I have to do though, is open it, absorb it,

let it shine savagely through my universe,

like the time they opened the Ark in Raiders of the Lost Ark,

blasting through all the cobwebs,

scorching through my soul, as the sun does this morning,

all powerful, all knowing

all love.

More than 3 little words.

All that I am,

has all the love that exists in me,

for all that you are.

 

See you in 2014.

One-Book-Pony

“Good morning Miss, we’re hear to spread the story of the Lord Jesus Christ”

Story, yes, you’re right there.

Did you know that the background of the 3 days dead, only to be reborn is based upon the solitice, the movement of the earth to the sun?

Did you know that there are about another 20 deities that share the same birth date with Jesus?

Did you know that I’m pretty much a spiritual atheist, I delve the depths of a thousand religions, I source the higgs-boson for insight into a world than none of us can truly fathom, i meditate, mediate, hallucinate, and liberate my mind from a world gone mad.

You sir, are a One-Book-Pony.

Good day to you.

 

under the limit

ow.

says my heart as I drive away.

I ignore it.

It’s just remnants of a time gone past

a time gone fast

a time gone, not to last.

Turn left at the lights,

RBT up ahead,

turn right at the lights.

Imaginary conversations with the police

rattle through my brain

yes, officer, I have been drinking

but I was polite

I mean, I was sensible

1 schooner, 1 shandy, 1 middie of beer

and always the 1 whisky.

In 6 and a half hours, I know

I’m under the limit.

Turn  next left,

more imaginary conversations,

“then Miss, why are your eyes red?”

my eyes aren’t red, except the left one was earlier after I accidentally rubbed salt from the popcorn in it,

during the movies.

the movies,

our hands brushed as we scooped for the popcorn,

goddamnit sheppard,

stop noticing every little thing

stop feeling every little thing

stop missing every little part

of him that used to almost piss you off.

“so why are your eyes red, Miss?”

they’re red now,

the tears drop down my cheeks,

down my chin

roll towards my cleavage

“relationship problems, officer. You know…”

goddamnit sheppard

you don’t have the fuckin right to cry over this

over him

over what’s missed.

you fucked it up in the first place, and now you’re all like

boo-fucking-hoo.

get a grip.

my brain screams at my heart to just shut up,

suck it up.

except…

my brain used to be stronger than my heart,

i think the tide’s turning, finally.

Eve

There’s nothing like the

crinkle of wrapping paper

the toe-hold

as I grab the sticky tape

to seal down one end

and then the other,

turn it over

write words on some paper

and seal it with a kiss.

or a few kisses xxx

that’s when christmas comes into my heart

not the carols,

not the tree

not the specials on prawns and plums

and ham

mmmm ham.

no, it’s none of that,

it’s not even there while i’m scanning my card

time after time

in shop after shop.

it’s Eve.

it’s quiet.

except for the sound of paper, and the screech

of the tape dispenser as i cut off

another piece.

peace

x

to you and yours

i wish you all in the world, but nothing but peace.

I’m feeling very sensitive tonight, tears in my eyes as I feel the love for my family, my friends, those that have passed, and those who are near yet no longer so close. Tears for the slight ache of loneliness. I feel all your love. Those that are lonely, cold, hungry, sad, full of despair and grief. tonight of all nights I feel your pain.I’m feeling you all tonight, and I feel so blessed to be so open to all the emotions of life.

peace on earth, goodwill to all.

x

The show

summer,
its words hang
like an outward breath, the oceans slide over the sand at the end of her journey.

Soft, slow, slumber
lots of room for blunder
Forgiving, fresh
but familiar
the sting on my skin
from the sun
from the sin.
You can smell it,
as its long drawl
covers the earth
in its shawl.

Cover up
head to toe
white wearing almost nothing at all.
It’s drinks with straws
the sunlight draws
lines across my shoulders, hips, thighs
evidence of a full day
in its glow
only some of you will I
let in
only some of you will I
appreciate my sin.

Dots dance over the page
as the karaoke man
finally sets the stage
for an entertaining extravaganza.
The cricket is over
the lights go low
it’s time for the show
it’s time for me to go.

Not right now

You’ll notice
I’ve been quiet
Absent
Katie doesn’t write when she’s happy, sorry if I’ve kept you waiting..

Happy, more content
Moving forward
Moving toward
life which is so inviting
it’s all I can do to not run.
I don’t even feel the need to explain who’s making me see me,
why I’m smiling, why I’m laughing, why I’m loved.
Shit like that needs no explanation
deserves no inclination
to delve deeper through to information.

I’m just happy I am x