thoughtsonthebus

15 stops. 40 minutes. each day.

Month: February, 2014

one.last.time

I’ve always been good at identifying songs from the first few bars

My folks noticed it when I was young, and it’s just one of those *things*

Seems though, as I get older, I don’t only just recognise the song

but the emotions the song brings up.

Some songs.. some songs just kill me

For example: I could be kissing my as-yet-located husband at the alter after just getting married

and if someone put on ” John Lennon – War is Over”, I would go weak at the knees, crumple into a heap on the floor

and ball my eyes out at the humanity, and lack of humanity in this world.

I’ve just found another one.

Except, it has to do with just one person.

I’ve gone from bouncing around the house, to sitting here,

appreciating the fact I can touch type because I can’t see the keys properly through the tears that are bulging in my eye-lids and streaming down my face.

It wasn’t “our” song. In fact, it was more the ” after we broke up this song became his song to explain the emotions he was going through”.

he mentioned it.

once.

and i listened that night

and cried so hard for the heartbreak we’d both obviously dealt with.

were still dealing with.

I’m still dealing with.

I remember the strained car rides in the rain, needing to talk things over because

god-damn but we were so amazing at some stage

we have to try once more.

I remember holding each other while we listened together,

held each other so tight, too tight, scared-of-losing tight, because we both knew this would never last.

When i allow myself to think about you, i fall back down that hole

and end up writing bullshit on this blog to try and relieve myself of the ache.

That’s why it looks like I don’t care

because i care too much,

I’m going to have to walk away

but not before we both hear this song

one.last.time.

x

 

 

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ninja valentine

I’ve got 10 minutes before my meeting will start

but I wanted to take a second to write what’s in my heart.

You brought me some flowers, I’ll write you a poem

you can copy the link, tell your friends and show them

a sweet little ditty to show my thanks

to the long afternoons, with a couple of spanks

and cricket and beers, and soft flowy curtains

we’re now really friends, of that I am certain.

Only 3 months ago, I didn’t know who you were

except someone who raved, my life was a blur

Mr Fluffer they call you, I think that’s quite sweet,

I really am happy we’ve gotten to meet

each other and laugh, and goss and unwind

these last 3 months, I would not rewind.

I am the best landlady you’ve ever had

little gnocchi one day, just might have a dad.

So thank you once more, my day you have made

Happy Valentines Day, let’s hope you get laid

xxxxx

Energy

There’s something going on
I’m not thinking
I’m feeling.
All. The. Time.
Feelings of love, gratitude
etc are here
But it’s not emotions so much
as all-out, omg “I am going to rip your clothes off and have my way if you don’t do the same to me in the next 5 minutes” kind of feelings.
Insatiable doesn’t even cut it.
Girls: Celebrate your love
Guys: Don’t be afraid

Being single is such a double-edged sword.

.mmm.. sword 😉