4.44

the last 2 days

4.44am

this is not fun

and I don’t want to play

was having such brilliant dreams

that the last thing I want is to wake up

and wait

wait

wait to see if this morning

the tinge of regret has gone

the stain of hurt has dissapaited

most mornings, it’s just a faint

battle cry from within

this morning

it was like a scene from 300.

All the emotions

piled on top of one another.

I don’t want this

I don’t want this

go back to sleep or

Get up 

Get out

find some shoes, pants, t-shirt.

I walk the rocks

each step another memory

another time

but my god

this sunrise is taking my breath away

it’s whispers of pale blue, pink, orange

spreading across the sky

but my god

this sunrise is taking my breath away.

the waves pound with persitance at the rocks

the pool

as still and as effective as a mirror

as I walk towards the steps.

but my god

this sunrise is taking my breath away

taking the pain away

taking my clothes off me

as I strip to show my body.

I am all,

but I am nothing.

and now I’m naked.

So I might as well enjoy a swim.

xxxx